Why Soul Work?

 I was so cold, my body was convulsing and I could not stop my teeth from chattering.

Alex was holding my hand as the nurse came rushing in with warm blankets.

The another nurse was on her 17 puncture wound into my arm trying to get a vein. I was livid, pissed. What is wrong with you, why can’t you just get the darn needle into my vein, are you a complete idiot or what?

Every moment that passed I lost more blood. My veins could not hold their structure any longer my body was failing.

Where is she? The thought quickly faded as I was brought into the present moment with yet another sting of a needle. From her look of disdain in her eyes I knew she did not get the vein.

I looked up and Kindra, my sister in law, was crying in the corner of the room.

I ask the doctor if I was going to die, she said not in this room. What does she mean? Maybe in another room? 

Another nurse comes in, this time they tell me they have one more chance, my neck. "We need to place the needle into the vein of your neck, your veins are collapsing and this is our last chance."

I am still so damn cold, I tell alex, he squeezes my hand tight. I know there is chance I might die today.

All of a sudden I hear “CODE WHITE, CODE WHITE” medical staff come rushing in, my family is swiftly escorted out. 

I am wheeled down into surgery. Where is she? the thought comes back into my mind as I drift away. 

An hour later I wake up again it has been 6 hours since I have last seen her. 

I am in the recovery room, my husband is with me. The doctor comes in to check on the bleeding. 

She pushes down on my abdomen and I feel a huge gush of blood flow between my legs.

Her eyes turn down and a frown forms at her lips, the tubal ligation did not work to stop the hemorrhaging.

7 hour pass since I have seen my baby.

“Take out my Uterus” I snap at the doctor, just stop the bleeding.

18 quarts of blood have been infused into my body. The bleeding will not stop, I just want to see my baby.

She agrees and again I am sent into surgery, 9 hours since I gave birth.

Death is knocking at my door, my body is weak, but I have a sense of peace. I know my daughters will be fine, their dad is amazing. He is such a good man. I go off into the unknown with peace in my heart.

In the middle of surgery I wake up, I know I should not be awake right now so I force myself to go back under, back into a state of sleep and unconsciousness.

I wake up again but this time in the recovery room. 

The hysterectomy was success. But my throat, OMG it hurts so much!

My face and body remind me of Urusula from the Little Mermaid, I am huge from all the swelling.

Still no sign of my baby. I fall asleep.

I wake up with tubes all over, but I finally have my newborn baby in my arms. She has been so brave. I fall madly in love with her. 

I cherish her deeply, it had been a long road to meet my child. 

After five days in the Hopsital I am sent home, baby in tow. My husband brings around the car and I am wheeled out. 

As I step outside of the hospital I get the first glimpse that something is different in my life. Everything around me is a little brighter, more crisp, and I feel a new sense of life and this is the beginning of my evolution into soul work.