Manifesting isn’t just for money. How I used these principles to overcome recurrent miscarriages.
Three days after my miscarriage I called the doctors office to see what the next step was.
“Well, I spoke with your doctor and he told me that the next step and your only chance to carry a baby would be to do a donor egg and IVF.” I was silent as she gave me the heart breaking recommendation.
She continued to tell me that my AMG levels were extremely low and that my FSH was high and my body could not support a pregnancy.
“Is there anything else we can do?” I asked. “No” she said, pretty matter of fact and that was moment I knew I had to find another way.
Once my crying subsided I did the first thing that came to my mind, I called my friend and colleague, David Scrimgeour, a fertility specialist up in Boulder. I used to work for him when I was in acupuncture school and I trusted his opinion immensely. He answered on the first ring, thank god!
“David” I began to cry again, “Hey, what’s up” he said. “They told me I could not have a baby unless I do an egg donor and IVF. He knew my history, I had my first three miscarriages when I still worked for him. He asked me what else did they say. I told him my numbers.
“Sylvia, no, you are going to be just fine. All that means is that your kidneys are depleted” He was a master acupuncturist and herbalist. His words were to first words that gave me hope. That made me think and feel something different then the news I had been given by the reproductive endocrinologist office.
So often when we leave the doctor’s office and we can feel wounded and afraid.
I felt David had given a touch of faith, that I could do the work. It was not easy and I almost gave up but it finally happened.
The greatest strength I experienced through this intense period of my life was hope, imagination, and the energy of manifestation.
I wanted a baby, I could feel it in my soul that I was meant to be a mother. I had a conviction in heart, that I would keep trying as long as I had eggs in my ovaries.
I began to look for other ways to help my body heal and carry a baby to full term.
There are three tools I used to help manifest my children into being.
1. An alter
One of the first tools I used was a fertility alter. My alter was a small space on a dresser in my room, where I lit candles, placed fresh flowers and little devotions to the fertility gods. I had a statue of Quan Yin, a baby elephant and gem stones.
It was beautiful to see and it was a place to focus my dreams. Every morning I would spend a moment praying for my wishes to be fulfilled.
The second tool I used was visualization, which is the process of seeing something before it comes to life and for me it was about being able to see my children before it was real. I set aside time during the day were I could meditate on my future babies. I would find a comfortable place to lay down and then I would close my eyes and visualize a baby held in my arms. I would try to imagine what it felt like to hold this child. I would see myself carrying my children. I believed in it before it even happened.
Sometimes we have to believe so that we can get better, improve our bodies, heal ourselves and the use of imagination is a powerful tool to bring us hope.
The third tool, was my favorite one. This is the tool I used one I got pregnant. Since I had so many miscarriages I was so scared to even go to the bathroom. When ever the fear trickled into my mind, I would begin to chant, “my baby is ok .my baby is ok, my baby is ok” and I kept repeating these words until my body finally believed it. Then I would calm down again and feel more at peace. The truth was that at the moment my baby was ok, she was with me.
When I was pregnant with my second child every time the fear came to me I used prayer, and I prayed to God to keep my child safe. I would shift from fear into trust.
I went on to have my first baby after 4 miscarriages and another daughter a few years later, naturally. Don’t always believe what you are told, but rather what your heart says.